The timeline of my life looks like this: Once upon a time, I was a homeschooling mama who spent her days tending to the kids and home. I loved learning myself, so there was a richness to our days, despite the fact that it was not easy. Fast forward to my husband dying unexpectedly. I immediately had to piece together flexible jobs that could supplement death benefits while still allowing me to be there for the kids. Where there is a will, there is a way, but boy, life was HARD and FULL
Next came going back to work full-time. The kids were all older, and I could outsource all of their schooling, so I enjoyed the steady paycheck. However, I HATED being away from home all day. I felt like I was missing out on so much, and many days felt like a jail sentence. I dreaded my days and felt it took significant willpower just to get through them. I knew something had to change. I furiously pursued remote jobs, and when I finally landed one and got to come home again, it was yet another adjustment. But I felt so much more like myself, like I could live the life I wanted.
There is so much complication with being a work-at-home WIDOW, though. First, the sweetness of it: I’m home. I get to be close to my kids. We can have meals together in the middle of the day. I get to be part of their lives in real-time instead of trying to fit time into a box at the end of the day. I’m available if they need to stop in for a quick chat or tell me about something exciting that is happening. And the bonus is that I don’t have to jump up to shovel on snow days. I love being home.
However, while being available like this is great, there is also a need for boundaries. During the day, I am still “at work,” and there are plenty of times I can’t be immediately available. I have to take calls, be in meetings, and actually get work done! If I don’t have boundaries in place, I can very easily get burned out trying to meet everyone’s needs without meeting my own.
Still, I am also a widow, and no matter how you frame it, life is tough when there’s no other adult to share the workload, be your backup, discuss decisions with, bear the financial brunt, or simply be your partner. I’m the parent, and it’s my job to take care of the children — not the other way around. It’s rare for one of the kids to ask how I’m doing or how my day was. I provide support but don’t receive much myself. That’s tough, whether I’m at home or not.
Overall, being a work-at-home widow makes me appreciate the small things that make life beautiful. I savor my days off and the slower moments. There’s something special about taking a coffee break to feel the grass under my feet or cooking a full midday meal during my lunch break to share with my family. Experiencing the loss of my husband taught me that life is precious, and we must make the most of the time we have.
Being a full-time parent has its trials but also so many joys. Raising my three favorite people is an honor, and I want to be present for it as long as possible. The days are long, but the years are short, and too soon, they’ll all be off on their own. I’m so glad I made the decision to be closer to them because it is what is most important to me. Life is too short to be miserable, so we must take steps to create the life we want. My advice is to pursue what you value and hold dear.
So, here I am, navigating this unique journey as a work-at-home widow, finding balance between work and family, grief and gratitude, solitude and connection. It’s not the life I envisioned, but it’s the life I’m determined to make the most of. I’ve learned that it’s okay to choose what feels right for me, to prioritize being present with my kids while also carving out space for myself. There are challenges, but there’s also beauty in crafting a life that reflects my values, even amid the pain of loss.
Every day is an opportunity to learn, grow, and savor the moments that matter most. I’ve realized that while I can’t change the past, I can shape the present and the future. And that means being here — fully, authentically, and unapologetically. It’s about embracing the messy, wonderful reality of where I am now and knowing that every choice I make is helping me build a life that honors both my husband’s memory and my own aspirations. For anyone on a similar path, know that while it might not be easy, it is possible to find peace, joy, and purpose again, one day at a time.
Work at Home Widow 